Sunday, March 22, 2015

Practice Prompt 1 A Birthday Card.

Prompt: "You find a birthday card on your doorstep. It's your birthday but nobody here is suppose to know who you are." 


I awoke feeling calm, for a moment. But the dreams faded as my mind turned on. The usual anxiety overtook me and I slowly turned and rolled a few times before rubbing my eyes. Throat sore, nose stuffed, hungry, thirsty, almost as though I had a hangover except I didn't drink.

Every night I lay down wishing sleep would come faster and every morning I regret waking up. But living here, in this nice house, far away from everything I use to know, I tried to tell myself things would be ok, even if it seems so empty.

My morning routine continued as normal, dragging myself to the bathroom, taking allergy pills and pain killers, searching the kitchen for something to eat and drink. Then I paced through the house looking at things; furniture that wasn't mine, dishes I had never seen before last month everything felt so sterile and unreal.

After taking the last few bites of the boring food I had scraped up, I found myself walking towards the door. Maybe I thought seeing the sky would make things feel more real. Slowly I opened it, not a squeak was made on its new hinges. The sun was bright. I could hear the sounds of machinery running, quietly in the distance.

At that moment I must have been hesitant to actually look up or maybe it was just the bright sun. But with my eyes looking down I immediately noticed a small white envelope on the door step.
Confused but curious, I picked it up, looked over it a few times and then opened it.

“Happy birthday, Lawrence.” The card was plain white with black letters. I didn't even know what the date was.

As I looked up at the rows of identical houses all empty and the distant districts for agriculture and arts, tears welled up inside me. I looked up at the metal and glass dome high above and wished beyond belief that some of the other colonists had survived the trip.

All this, built by drones and to think that not a single other living being made it off the ship... Then horror replaced my loneliness. Who the hell sent the card?  



Written by heromedel

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Cruelty

Despite how terrible cruelty is when it truely hurts someone. Maybe it can be possible to cope with it by understanding it better.

I tried to look at reasons people are cruel and here is what I found.

Envy. Sometimes people will try to knock you down simply because they see something about you that makes them feel insecure. In this case if there is little they can do besides fling mean words then it is actualy a compliment. No matter how great you are someone will hate you for it.

Defense or fear. There are many people that when put in a position that makes them feel bad they will blame someone or something else. This means that if they hurt you and feel bad about it they try to justify it by blaming you. Once you are to blame then it makes even more sense to that person to be cruel to you in the future. Once again the problem is them not you.

Then of course there is passed on cruelty. That is when someone has been the victim enough that they decide to victimize others. The problem here is that if they are cruel to you it rarely does any good to become cruel yourself.

So even though none of this will get rid of all cruelty maybe it can help us deal with it. When someone trys to slander you or make you feel bad, it is a person with low self  acceptance who actualy thinks you are doing better then them.

When they blame you as if you deserve it, then most likely it is that person who is feeling bad. And finaly anyone who is being cruel most likely needs or needed more kidness and acceptance in their life.

If you are wondering why so many people are cruel to you, make sure your not being cruel and then just know that as long as your doing good then haters are just sad people who are lost in life.

Thinking ahead.

Contemplating the future makes me question where I am right now and where I have been.

In no other aspect of life do I feel this way.

Contemplating the light does not make me confused about darkness. Just as thinking about food doesn't make me question water.

I suppose people are most lost when it comes to themselves. Just as it is way easier to give advice than it is to take action.

I often think the greatest desire most people have is to feel connected. But how can we share who we are or expect to be accepted for who we are, without first knowing who we are?

On the other hand I doubt anyone truly knows themself.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Life

Is life what is happening this very moment or is what we leave behind? As we journey from place to place and from moment to moment does the person we once were simply die?

Does the place of our birth and each place we visit cease to exist as the seasons and people change?

Perhaps as we live through our story, it is the stories we leave behind that are more real than the moments that pass by.

Maybe I am nothing more then what others think I am. Or maybe we are all the universe itself, looking inward.